“Mai Tai”

The next trip to Shelbyville, Don’s friends, John and Jim, joined our group.  We followed all of traditions stopping for pizza along the way. This year we needed to rent another boat as there were now six of us. Jim brought along Crown Royal so our liquor experience rose to a new level.

Saturday began with someone starting his truck outside our motel room, and leaving it run. The fumes came in through the window so we had to close the window. This made it warm in the room. This made John mad, and he stood in the doorway yelling out at who ever could hear him. “Thanks a lot you M…F…”   We all thought the day was going to begin with a fight.

Jim was very talented at fishing and we caught several. Don and John fished with Jim, while I rode with Paul and Glen. It was nice warm day with no wind.  A perfect day for fishing was also a perfect day for drinking beer. We had brought along many cans of beer which needed to be consumed. The more we drank, the less we fished. I recall just keeping a line in the water with no bait.

With two boats it was inevitable that one would run low on beer.  Surprisingly this was the boat I was in. We began to practice the fine art of throwing beer between the boats. The fishing net became quite useful for this purpose, and Glen was quite proficient at snagging the flying beer in midair.

My friend from teaching, Gerry, joined us later that afternoon, after we stopped fishing (drinking). As was our tradition, we headed to Jibby’s.

As we settled in, a waitress came to take our drink order. After drinking beer the night before and all day, we started placing orders for hard drinks. After the first two ordered different drinks, someone (probably Don) suggested we all get something different. With six ordering ahead of him, by the time the waitress got to Paul, all the more common, that is manly, drinks were ordered. Paul stammered around while he tried to think of something. Finally he ordered a Mia Tai. We all cracked up.

When the waitress placed the order the female bartender said “What fag wants a Mai Tai?” which embarrassed Paul further. When the drinks came, the waitress made sure to give Paul his drink last, and she stuck a little umbrella in it. She also brought him a miniature lai, so Paul got”laid” that night.

Paul was getting married that summer. Don and I planned a trip down to Shelbyville for some additional fishing. We took a “short cut” suggested by his secretary. We got lost. Again.

Eventually we found the place. We fished for the afternoon and planned to head back. We decided we needed a wedding gift for Paul. We stopped in at Jibby’s and I emptied out six of the offerings from the condom machine. Included were several versions of “The Screamer”. When we got back, I bought a plastic lure box with six slots.

On the day of his wedding, I decided it might not be too cool for the girls opening wedding gifts to see our present. Don and I got Paul aside and made a personal presentation. We think Paul had an enjoyable honeymoon, but we never got any details.;-)