Paul and Don and I have had so many screw ups that I compared us to the three stooges. https://principalfishing.blogspot.com/2024/05/the-three-stooges-were-amateurs-at.html
But it really only takes two of us to make one type of screwup. Don fell out of his own boat around 30 years ago. He blamed Paul for rocking the boat while he was trying to pee over the side losing his glasses in the process. (Don said the worst part was explaining to his wife, Pat) . Don bought a floating glasses strap to prevent future losses and used a plastic urinal until he sold his boat. Now I carry one in my boat.
Stay for final paragraph because this was only the beginning of the screwups.
Through all the nearly 40 years of fishing together I had never fallen in....until today. I was with Paul (is there a pattern here?) because Don couldn't come fishing. We had a great day fishing although it was a little too windy to keep the boat steady. The wind led to the disaster.
Paul was driving the boat to go home and I sat in the front. As we pulled up to the dock I grabbed the pipe on the dock to pull myself up. There was a kid about 8-10 fishing by the ramp. I got one foot on the dock and attempted to set up with the other foot. The wind had other ideas.
With one foot in the boat and one on the dock I struggled to hang on to the pipe. I was straddling the water as the wind blew the boat back. When my foot slipped off the dock I tried to get it back up and twisted and fell with my back in the water. I heard the kid say to himself or us, "That's a nice bluegill as he apparently caught a fish. Both of my feet were now in the boat and I laid with my back in the water still holding on to the pipe. The other hand was on the side of the boat. My jacket pockets and hood filled with water increasing my weight. The kid said " that's a nice crappie" as he apparently caught another. Paul grabbed my boat hand while I held to the dock with the other. He offered to try and pull me up, but I told him "No" because I could see he would only fall in too. The kid caught another fish, this time a bass.
We decided the only solution was for me to put both feet into the lake and and try to pull along the dock until I could get my feet onto the ramp and walk out...except my life vest had other ideas. I could barely touch the bottom before my life vest woke up.
We always wear a life vest. Mine is inflatable and only inflates when it gets wet. It got soaked and I said to Paul "My life vest works" as it instantly inflated. It really gets buoyant when it does. It was so buoyant that my feet floated to the surface and I could not get them down.
I struggled to pull myself toward the ramp using the support structure under the dock. I had no leverage to overcome the life vest so I walked slowly hand over hand towards the ramp. By this time my feet were under the dock and I couldn't pull them out. Slowly I worked to the ramp and finally reached the location of the hand rail on the dock. I was exhausted and rested awhile before trying to pull on the handrail. I was too far away so had to pull further along until I caught the upper hand rail. This gave me enough leverage to finally overcome the life vest and stand on the under water part of the ramp
As I stood up and started to walk out of the water, the kid said "How did you do?" meaning "how was fishing". I said "I fell in the lake" and he said "I saw. How was fishing?". The kid had some strange priorities.
I walked up to my truck to get the trailer. My truck key fob wouldn't work, so I had to open it with the key. When you do you have a few seconds to start the engine before the alarm goes off. Fortunately I got it started. I loaded the boat on the trailer, drove to town, dropped off Paul and headed home.
In this electronic era, when you fall in the lake, it screws up everything. My electronic watch was soaked, and most importantly my cell phone was water logged My cell phone has many important apps including the security system for both houses. My wallet and everything it it was soggy. I needed my drivers license and medical card for the next event.
After getting cleaned up and making it to my scheduled doctor's appointment, Connie and I went to the store to buy rice to dry out my cell phone, and watch. She drove because my truck seat was saturated with lake water from my clothes. As we pulled into the parking lot, granddaughter, Emily, called from Texas to say the security alarm was going off and she couldn't shut it off. The batteries in the key pad were dead. The only way to shut off the alarm is with the keypad or the security app which is only in one place, my soaking wet cell phone which was home waiting for drying rice. Fortunately the security company called the Connie's phone as backup to mine before sending the police to arrest my panicked granddaughter.
Next time I tie up the boat to the pipe before trying to get out!